Hari ini sebenernya hari yang bagus banget. A well-deserved public holiday. Perfect leisure that everyone in busy schedule needs. Everyone like me. Gw sudah merencanakan hal-hal menyenangkan yang bisa gw lakukan hari ini: gw mau ke salon, potong rambut, creambath, whatever yang bisa bikin gw seneng. Gw mau shopping, kebetulan nyokap yang minggu lalu baru ulang tahun dapet banyak banget voucher diskon belanja di store2 ternama. Gw mau nge-YouTube, my favorite Asians got a whole bunch of new videos that i haven't checked out. Dan gw mau ngeblog, tentang pengalaman2 menarik minggu lalu yang belom sempet gw ceritain di postingan sebelumnya.
See? Those are interesting ways to spend the day, right? I'm completely ready to rock this day, until they announce that 2NE1 will perform at July 3rd.
NO.FUCKIN.WAY.
You see, I can't be there in July 3rd simply because i have works to do. This has been planned out for almost six months. But suddenly they announced this Mnet thing and everything's just screwed up. That's why I'm losing my mind immediately. I can't think straight. I'm depressed. Even worst I'm dying inside.
Seriously, how could this happen???? Or why????
All this time i'm being really sure that they're not gonna perform there. Simply because, it's not their time yet. If any YG artist has to perform, it has to be Lee Hi or Epik High, not 2NE1. For these past few days, when they annouce the line ups, i'm having a good feeling about that. Names after names, nothing scares me because i never thought they're gonna get 2NE1. But they made it! All impromptu! How did they do that????
Gw bener2 kehilangan semangat untuk menjalani hari ini. All the plans are ruined. I prefer to stay home, in my room, thinking and thinking. I seriously think about everything, about possibility, about risk and all that, and the more i think of it, it becomes even more nonsense. I let my mind wanders and once it stops at the memory of Harry Potter. It's the Dementor's Kiss. I feel like i'm having a Dementor's Kiss effect right now. I'm losing my soul, i'm turning into an empty shell. I can feel my sense is struggling to keep me away from doing anything stupid. I can feel the other side of my mind trying hard to get me back on the ground.
It takes hours, you know. Those painful hours. Things just can't get any worse than this.
But after more and more struggling, i finally can think clearly again by looking at the bright side of the situation.
Look, i don't blame anyone for this unfortunate event. I don't blame my job that gave me the responsibility for July 3rd. I don't blame the organizer because i know they're only doing business. I don't blame myself for being unable to do anything.
I'm just very very disappointed because i can't be there. But that's completely normal. There's always a lesson behing everything, right? This is probably a part of that grown-up thing to make me more mature. It's about accepting and believing that there's always another time.
Right now i think I'm happy enough that they will be here, finally. I'm happy enough to know that Dara can meet Thunder backstage. I'm happy enough because i don't have to spend any money. I'm happy enough for Indonesian Blackjacks and i'm counting on you guys for HQ fancams. :)
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