Sunday, August 23, 2009

HairDisaster feat. Mia Thermopolis


Sunday, April 5th , 2009

02.35 p.m

Ooh..

Cloudy Sunday afternoon…

Home alone.

Okay today I wanna talk about hair. Hair problem actually, I’ve just done creambath a few hours ago. For a girl like me, creambath is a very rare thing to do, the last one was about 4 to 5 months ago, so, it’s been a while. Why? Because I do creambath for particular reason that I’ve been very strict to. I do creambath when I got stress out and need something to meditate, or when I’m too lazy to wash my hair. For today, it stands for both.


I need something to meditate. I came home pretty late last night, so when I’ve just arrived, I was so fully tired, low battery, and I got that dizzy and queasy condition. I was so tired that I even forgot to take a bath, went straight to my room and slept.


It was 9 o’clock in the morning when I finally wake up. Feeling thirsty and bathroom-sick, I go outside and found my Mom walking around with a cellphone on her right hand and a perfume on the left. She has already dressed up, so I guess they’re going to a party, and I’m right of course, a second later my sist’ running toward me and say: “Sist, we’re going to Buizendorg (Bogor,-red)! Take a bath, HURRY!”. Oh… I’m so not in the mood to go anywhere, so I say: “I’m not going!” to them.


Then, I take a quick bath and I realize that my hair is dirty, but it has been 5 or 6 days, so it must be super duper dirty. Eeew… there’s no way I’ll clean it up myself… So I have to go to the salon. I think creambath is the best way to release every morning tension I have, the package of hair-cleaning, massage, and a little aromatherapy thing, maybe will help, I hope.


So I take my money, cellphone, and a novel, and go straightly to the salon. It’s too early, they’ve just started the business. My usual hairdresser hasn’t come yet, so his friend does my hair. I think it’s alright, because the only thing I want is cleaning my hair a.s.a.p.


Actually, I didn’t like the salon, because I always got criticized by the hairdressers, even the nice one. Or maybe they didn’t mean to criticize, but, since it’s mine, my hair, seeta’s hair, all they said is critic! And I don’t like this. And yes, I get criticized today too. Here, I list the most critical hair-critic sentence that I (always) got in the salon.

1. Wow! Your hair is too much! (Rambutnya banyak banget)

2. Wow! Very curly and wavy! (Kribo gila)

3. What shampoo do you use? (Pake sampo apa sih?)

4. _with stinky eye_ Do you comb your hair? (sisiran ga sih?)

5. Ooh.. you got volume! (rambutnya ngembang ya,)

6. You should try -bla bla bla- (bla-bla-bla means he offers lots of hair treatment that already exist, and, oh, also means a lot of hair-care product that he recommends).

((check it out this one, I’m so sick of this one!))

7. Why don’t you make it straight, there’s rebonding and smoothing techno today, why don’t you try? (kenapa ga dilirusin, kan bisa di bonding ato smuting?)


Imagine that I have to listen to all of them everytime I went to salon! Don’t blame me for being so furious!


Honestly, I love my hair. Really I do. But how I define ‘love my hair’, isn’t similar with the other girls and the hairdresser’s definition. For me, loving your hair doesn’t mean you have to go to salon everyweek, neither you have to give style to it, or whatever.


Or maybe I’m wrong, maybe I hate my hair. I don’t like my hair’s texture, I don’t like my hair condition, I always tie my hair all the time, every occasion, even the formal one, because I don’t wanna get hectic with my hair! My hair’s sucks!


But, I love my hair, I don’t give some treatments to it because I’m afraid they will be side effects, I’m afraid, that in the end, my hair will be screwed, I’ve taken the rebonding techno once, and in the end my hair got dandruffed, the texture was getting rough, and within several months, it’ll get curly again, so when I wanted to get it straight, I’ll have to re-rebonding it, over and over again, so it’ll become an addictive activity, that’s why is sucks!


I don’t wanna be salon addict, I don’t wanna be that kind of girl.

Okay, back to the discussion.


After washing my hair, the hairdresser starts to get my hair creamed. I start to read the novel, it was Meg Cabot’s Princess Diaries. I forget when was the last time I read it, but it has been a long time, Jr. High maybe, because, this novel’s pages have already got yellowed. Haha.


Huh, this novel is boring, so girly. This is the first time I bring girly novel when I go to salon, back before, I used to bring Harry Potter book. The two hours salon’s treat is a great time to read Harry Potter. I can finish those two hours reading the 1st Harry Potter. For this time, I has been 1 ½ hours but I still stuck on page 46 from 312. Then I realize that I have the DVD’s at home, so I decided to pay attention to the hairdresser’s work.


My hair has been boiled (is that right to describe the big salon helmet to make creamed hair warm? Not sure), my arm, neck, and shoulder have been massaged, so it’s time to wash and blow my hair. Okay, the story begin here, when the hairdresser starts to blow my hair.


My hair is too much, usually, it take 2 or 3 hairdressers to blow it. Haha. For this time, there’s only one hairdresser that available, so, haha, I see the tired and desperate face on him, but, it’s the job, you have to do it like it or not! Life is hard, remember? haha


But, he get sucks! He is not blowing my hair, he only makes my hair dry, that’s it! So you know what next, my hair gets big! Volumed! And of course, messy (negative messy, not positive like I always seems)! No wonder I got so… temperamental!


“Mas! Kog jadi ngembang gini??”

“Emang rambutnya gini kan?” (shit!)

“Tapi biasanya kalo di blow ga jadi se-ngembang ini, kurang di tarik nih!”

“Udah ditarik kog,” (double shit!)

“Ya tau uda ditarik, tapi KURANG DITARIK!” (high pitched voice already)

The senior female hairdresser who used to do my Mom’s hair, walk to us and touch my hair.

“Kamu kurang ditarik nih, mau dicatok aja mba?”

“Ga usah, biasanya juga ga dicatok, ini kurang tarik aja kan?”

And you have to know, the hairdresser suddenly said this sentence, with all the bhenchonk style that he could show: (please imagine it, please)

“ditarik pake apa? Pake tambang?”


And he go away.

It feels like I could scream and shout loud!

BRENGSEK LO BHENCHONK!


I usually respect male hairdresser that seems like homo, not straight, and talk like girls, because I know this guy, male hairdresser, I used to claim him homo, but he’s finally married, so I decided not to underestimate or disrespect another male hairdresser.


But, this time, are you agree if I say that he ask for it?! Because the freak totally does!

“Saya ga mau keluar salon dengan keadaan rambut kaya gini lho Mba (senior hairdresser, My Mom’s).”

“Oh yaudah diulang aja deh diblow-nya”


So he re-blows my hair, forcefully I think. But he did well this time, because I give him scary stare in the mirror. Until, it’s done, I pay the creambath service, but I don’t give him tip. I mean, come on, tip for him?? Hell NO!


When I home, I watch Princess Diaries DVD, and found Mia Thermopolis’ hair is just like me, and, uhm, her personality too! Because I think Mia Thermopolis will do exactly the same like I did when the same thing happened to her. Haha. Right then, I feel so not alone in this crazy hair dilemma.


The point is, however sucks your hair is, try to love it, because it’s yours.

By loving it, you could do anything that you’ll never expect.

Shouting loud to a desperate male-hairdresser for example.

Haha


I wonder what will my Mom’s say if she knew what happened.

To scary to imagine.



footnote: by the time this post been made, i hadn't been smoothed, so uhm, looks like i swallow my own spittle, don't I? haha. yeah life's changed...

No comments:

Post a Comment