Tough Week

This week is really tough.

Setelah April, Mei, dan Juni yang penuh rainbows and unicorns, roda kehidupan gw berada di bawah bulan Juli ini. I am reaching rock bottom and that ain’t feel good. 

After 3 months, I finally met my first obstacle at work, and that is… communication~

Sounds petty, huh? Indeed.

I’ve been overthinking it for a week. It really affects my mood and productivity.

But I don’t wanna talk about it now, sorry. It’s bad if I don’t channel the emotion right away, I know. Malah jadinya kependem dan numpuk, kayak numpuk virus di badan~

But I just want to make peace with myself first before telling you guys. Hope you understand.

Hari Rabu kemarin, ibunda sahabat gw dari SD, Grace, meninggal dunia setelah koma hampir 2 minggu. RIP Tante Ellen. 

Ini juga bikin gw sedih karena gw deket banget sama Grace. I can feel her loss, her pain, her exhaustion. Stay strong, my Gracie. I will always be beside you. 

Nyokap gw nemenin ke rumah duka untuk ngelayat juga. The whole time she was sitting beside me, I couldn’t help but think that someday this would happen to me too. I will lose her too. I cried myself to sleep that night. 

Pokoknya tujuan hidup gw adalah membahagiakan nyokap selagi masih bisa. Mengabulkan semua permintaannya, berada di sampingnya, memastikan kesehatannya. I am all for you, mom. 

As if things can’t get any worse, I got my period yesterday and I’m in so much pain today~ 

My room is a huge mess. Got clothes on the floor, leftover food, gadgets and tangled cables, jewelry everywhere…

I tried to distract myself from these harsh realities. I watched so many movies this weekend. Didn’t work~

I think I need a Pensieve since there are recollections of things I would wish to hide or forget. Tapi bukan itu fungsi Pensieve sebenarnya ya?

*sigh*

I think imma just go see some therapist~

Ada rekomendasi?