Purpose #4: Essay and LGD

Haaiiii~~

Gile gw committed banget ye 3 bulan kemudian baru ngelanjutin cerita Purpose. Hahaha~

Anyway, terakhir gw ceritain wawancara ya? Jadi sekarang lanjut cerita tentang Essay sama LGD. As I already told you, my essay and LGD test were scheduled the next day, dan gw kebagian pagi2 buta. Kalo ga salah esay gw jam setengah 8, LGD gw jam setengah 9.

Oke. Esay.

I don’t really remember but I think I slayed my essay. LOL~

Sistemnya pilih 1 di antara 2 topik. Gw dapet topik hukuman mati buat pengedar narkoba sama apa ya? Hahaha~ Lupa~ Kalo ga salah satu lagi soal agama. Since my conception of religion agak2 kontroversial XD, jadi gw pilih yang hukuman mati biar lebih aman.

Ga perlu gw jelasinlah ya jawaban gw gimana~ I think I made myself very clear on it. Gw ga setuju sama hukuman mati itu, jadi straight to the point aja jelasin alasannya apa aja. Elaborate satu2. Selesai.

Ketika orang lain nulis panjang lebar sampe berlembar2 gw cuma nulis setengah halaman kertas folio. 10 menit selesai. LOL~

Here’s a tip: essay itu ga ada ketentuannya harus berapa kata. Jadi ada baiknya lo langsung ke idea, ga usah bertele2 jelasin latar belakang masalah, dll. It’s not a scientific writing, walaupun ada baiknya lo jawab dengan struktur scientific writing, meaning ada opening, body sama conclussion. Tapi ga usah panjang2lah. It's just an opinion.

Anyway so yeah, I nailed my essay in 10 minutes, dan esay praktis jadi tes yang paling gw suka out of all substantial tests, becoz 100% sure I nailed it. LOL~

Abis essay, langsung digiring buat LGD. Kalo kata orang2, LGD ini kayak ngobrol santai aja, dengan topik isu-isu terkini. Waktu itu kelompok LGD gw (yang terdiri dari 10 orang, semuanya cewek!) kebagian topik tentang intoleransi antar umat beragama, dengan studi kasus gereja Situbondo yang dibakar massa.

Hmmm… Berat.

That was when I was most afraid I would fail. Simply becoz I suck at scientific discussion. Well it’s not like I can’t talk or anything, in fact sometimes I ace at discussion BUT only when the topic is my area of expertise.

2NE1

Beyonce

Britney Spears

Lady Gaga

JUST KIDDING!

Stuff like:

Popular Culture

Entertainment Industry

Creative Industry

Journalism

Digital Media and Internet

or certain human interest topic like feminism, homosexuality, racism, dll.

I would love to discuss about that!

Other than that, it’s a lot of struggle, which was exactly how my LGD went like.

Gw hampir sama sekali ga ngerti isunya. I mean gw pernah baca beritanya satu dua kali. Ngerti sih, tapi cuma di permukaan. Gw mau berpendapat, tapi pendapat gw baseless, cuma assumption, jadi ga kuat. Gw ga punya receipt untuk mendukung pendapat gw.

Sebenernya LGD itu diskusi yang sangat santai, ga ada yang menjatuhkan. Tapi ketika elo dikasih waktu setengah jam diskusi dengan orang2 yang berasal dari bidang yang berbeda2, meaning ada 10 otak yang jadi motor diskusi itu, bahasannya bisa jauh banget! 

Since gw ga terlalu ngerti topiknya at the first place, the further they discuss, the more I lost. Ketika orang2 udah 3 kali berpendapat, gw baru sekali dan itu pun pendapat ga penting! T.T

Just when I thought that’s it, that’s the end of me, like confirmed fail at this, tiba2 ada cewek di kelompok LGD gw, totally lupa namanya siapa, tapi cewek ini tiba2 bahas peran media massa dalam isu ini.

EUREKA!

Dari situ gw baru dapet celah untuk intervensi dan mengutarakan opini dengan cerdas sesuai dengan area of expertise. :D

YASSSSSS!!!!!!!

Jadi pada kesempatan ini gw mau berterimakasih pada elo -siapapun elo- si cewek misterius temen LGD gw yang secara ga langsung membantu gw saat LGD, THANK YOU SO MUCH! :* semoga sukses studinya yaa~~

And that’s it, my LGD didn’t end up that tragically. LOL

Keluar ruangan LGD perasaan gw udah lega banget. Ga sempet kenalan sama siapapun karena literally semua orang langsung ilang ketika keluar ruangan. LOL~ Bener2 ga romantis deh grup LGD gw, kalo grup LGD lain tuh akrab banget mingle sampai bikin grup watsap. LGD gw bener2 SLGDP alias sehabis LGD pulang~ wkwkwk~~

Jadi gw balik ke lobi utama buat ketemu sama Rika yang abis wawancara. Saat itu gw udah tenang banget karena semua tes akhirnya selesai. Eh pas ketemu Rika, masa dia nangis!

Like WTF~ Kok Rika nangis???

Ternyata wawancaranya ga smooth, dia debat kusir sama interviewer-nya~ T.T

Kasian Rika sampai trauma~ Ada kali sejam gw dengerin Rika cerita sambil nangis. Gw bener2 bingung harus diapain itu anak biar berenti nangisnya~

Tapi Rika bilang gw ga perlu ngapa2in, cukup dengerin ceritanya aja. A psychology bachelor she is, dia bilang sekarang dia masih di stage Anger. Jadi emang ga bisa diapa2in. 

Ngeliat gw ga mudeng, dia sempet2nya jelasin 5 stages of loss and grief:

1. Denial and Isolation

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Dari stage itu, nomer 1-4 bisa diapa2in deh, meaning the person who endure it has to deal with hisself/herself. Orang lain ga bisa membantu.

Orang lain baru bisa bantu di stage 5, acceptance. That's gw mencoba bantuin Rika menuju level acceptance dengan mengajak dia ke… Mall Artha Gading buat kongkow. LOL~

Daerah UNJ situ mall-nya cuma Arion, ga mungkin gw ajak dia ke Arion, bisa makin depresi entar~ wkwk~ akhirnya ke Artha Gading.

Di Artha Gading, true healer datang pada Rika dalam bentuk… Daiso! LOL~

Secara gw banci Daiso, otomatis ke sana kan secara Daiso Artha Gading yang paling gede dan paling lengkap se-Jakarta~ Kebetulan Rika belum pernah ke Daiso, pas bangetlah diajak ke sana. Langsung kalap belanja sampe 200k++. Langsung happy lagi deh anaknya! Hehe~

Well, gw bersyukur banget interview gw happy ending, interviewer-nya ga rese nanyain pertanyaan aneh2. Gw justru mau nangis di ruangan LGD~ LOL~ Saking no clue-nya mau ngomong apa pas diskusi. Tapi itu pun happy ending karena ada savior yang tadi gw bilang. Wkwkwk~

Overall semua tes substansial ga ada yang meninggalkan trauma atau regret sih. Campuran persiapan gw matang, niat gw baik, doa nyokap bokap, dan tentu saja luck. :)

Till the next Purpose story, bye now!

Oiya! Selamat menunaikan ibadah Civil War bagi yang merayakan! Aku nonton malem ini, kamu??? :)))

XIAXUE IS PREACHIN AGAIN!

hi, guys! how y’all doin?

i’m supposed to be working coz i literally have PLENTY of job awaiting~ tapi apa daya~ begitu buka komputer mood yang keluar adalah mood ngeblog~ nyehehehehe~~

anyway, postingan singkat aja. yang mau gw omongin sekarang adalah salah satu bias gw >>> X.I.A.X.U.E~~

gila~ gila~ gila~ gila~

gw ngefansnya udah kayak apaan tau ya sama ini orang~

awesome banget!!!

semua views-nya dia akan isu-isu sosial selalu keren2 dan gw hampir selalu setuju sama views-nya dia. 

such an inspiring and influential person!

kemarin di abis preaching lagi di socmed, tepatnya di instagram. isunya tentang plastic surgery.

langsung aja gw share deh:

Lol AGE 16 VS AGE 31 WHAT IS GOING ON? 😂 #plasticsurgerythatswhat #andmakeup #androaccutane Both photos are not edited - left was taken with me in my NCC uniform in school, and the right was on snapchat two days ago. So I did two eye surgeries... First one flopped and made no difference. Second one done with @beverlywilshiremedicalcentre to cut double eyelids and inner corners. Two nose jobs, both with Dr Martin Huang, the second one because the first implant became crooked after I accidentally hit it or something. Believe it or not didn't do anything to jawline or chin, just gradually lost baby fats over the years and became like that. I guess the Invisalign with @orchardscottsdental also helped! There will always be people against plastic surgery and telling me that the specimen on the left looks prettier than the right. Like that I cannot help you, I'm sure there are also people in this world who think shit taste better than fried chicken. 😒 Just because the girl on the left is more attainable/humble-looking and therefore more attractive to you doesn't mean it applies to the world. Fact is plastic surgery is a very personal choice and nobody has the right to tell others they should or shouldn't do it to their own body. You are misinformed if you think everyone who does is has body and mental issues - sometimes it can be as logical as renovating a house or changing the paint on your car. You don't think something looks nice, you find a SAFE way to fix it, upgrade it. Having a nose job is like contouring, but permanent. You don't suggest that a person renovating his home is in danger of being addicted and never stopping till his home is disfigured. The same way, people who do PS are capable of stopping because there are so many factors at play. I have so many sponsors asking me to do more and even offering to PAY on top of sponsorship, but all I did was fix two features over the years.  Whatever happened to loving yourself just the way you are born? That's so stupid I can't even. Great for you that you find inner peace with your ugliness and all, but not everyone can. And let's see you try to tell someone born with a cleft lip that they cannot fix it.

A photo posted by Wendy Cheng ❄️ 下雪 🦄 Xiaxue (@xiaxue) on Apr 14, 2016 at 10:50pm PDT

Thank you for the near thousand comments on my last post! Those who are against plastic surgery are quick to point out that, tragically, my child will look like shit, like my old self. 1) Are you suggesting that ugly people shouldn't breed? While eugenics isn't without certain merits, the pre-surgery me is free to give birth to an ugly child if I want to. Ugly so? I will love him as he is, and once he reaches 21 he can decide for himself if he wishes to change anything. With his own money. 2) Understand this: without exception, people who do plastic surgery are vain. Vain people make the best of their appearance and dress well, resulting in confidence too. My husband fell in love with me before any surgery was done. He was attracted to me because, I believe, I took care of my appearance. (And my brains, think that too) Attractive, confident people will manage to get more attractive mates to marry. The resulting children of a plastic person will henceforth, I believe, be better looking than children of someone with equal natural looks but chose not to better it. Simply because they marry more attractive people. #logic (I am assuming they did not lie about their surgery to their mates) 3) MY CHILD IS LITERALLY SUPER HANDSOME** so thank you for your concern and worry but YOU CAN GO EAT SHIT AND DIE NOW. 😎 **Of course there will be people who disagree Dash is handsome but as I said, there will always be people who find shit more delicious than fried chicken so I cannot help them. #blind

A photo posted by Wendy Cheng ❄️ 下雪 🦄 Xiaxue (@xiaxue) on Apr 15, 2016 at 11:44am PDT

Hate me? I love it. I EAT HATE FOR DESSERT. It's gluten-free and full of the unhappiness of my haters, which is just delicious. I ABSOLUTELY STAND BY WHAT I WROTE AND WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR IT. #oops Really, are we arguing whether there is such a thing as ugly in this world? If it doesn't exist, there wouldn't have been a word for it. So yes some people find inner peace with their ugliness, which they, I'm sure, somehow managed to convince themselves looks fine/doesn't matter. That's fantastic, I'm totally happy for them. In fact, I think there should be more such people in the world. However, these people have no rights to judge others who decided to upgrade. Just as a poor man, content with his life, has no right to ask someone striving to be rich to not do it and simply be at peace with poverty. A student who is bottom in class and ok with it has no rights to judge other students who wish to be top and are studying hard for it. As for my cleft lip comment. That was referring to the statement "Be happy with what you are born with/God gave you". You cannot stand by that ridiculous blanket statement and only apply it to aesthetics and not to medical disorders (i.e.: so I shouldn't try to fix cancer?) For patients w cleft lip, a barrage of different doctors have to work together. Oral surgeon, ENT doctor... And plastic surgeon. The latter only fixes aesthetics - NOT the medical conditions. Is he not allowed to do his job because the patient should just accept his looks (assuming all health issues are corrected)? Burn victims, people with very crooked teeth, people with cleft palettes... These people are generally "allowed" to surgically change their appearance without being judged. Why? Because you ASSUME their psyche will be affected? Then who are you to assume someone with a big nose isn't very affected by it? You assume it's frivolous and shallow because you think, I can accept my big nose, why can't she? Because 1) you aren't her you have no idea how she deals with her life and 2) because she doesn't wants to so NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. By all means take apart this chunk of text and take offence. I love the discussion. By discussion I mean blocking. Tata!

A photo posted by Wendy Cheng ❄️ 下雪 🦄 Xiaxue (@xiaxue) on Apr 16, 2016 at 1:02am PDT

reaksi gw abis baca postingan itu:

Xiaxue oh Xiaxue… 

how could you be so awesome?????

we need more of Xiaxue in life, like seriously.

people like Xiaxue can make the world a better place.

i wanna be one.

Goodbye Minzy - A Failure of Blackjack

Hi y’all.

It’s been 2 days since the news broke out and got us in shook.

As much as I don’t want to talk about it -coz just like you all, I’m still in grief- I have to. I don’t know why, I just have to.

This event is simply devastating. I woke up the other day wishing it’s only a terrible nightmare and the next day YG will surprise us with comeback teasers.

But no. It ain’t happening.

As much as I want to refuse to accept this, it’s pointless, because it IS happening.

Minzy is gone, and looking at the most talked-about behind the scene rumors that are going around, the detail of this withdrawal is so messy~ It doesn’t look like a beautiful farewell.

It started with a rumor. Tuesday morning I checked Twitter and my timeline moved so fast. These guys had been talking about Minzy already in contact with other company, following contract expiration with YG –which will happen in May– The source was unknown. Probably a YG insider leaked this information, or the other company’s staffs. We never knew. It could be anyone.

Been seeing a lot of negative rumor about 2NE1 in the past 2 years, I chose to ignore it. Here we go again, I thought. Some shady haters were at it again.

I was just about to forget what I just read when the news told me that YG would hold press conference at the same day. This is where things got fishy. What’s with the rush? Is it urgent?

So I stood by my Twitter and there it was. Few hours later, they confirmed it. Minzy doesn’t renew her contract. She is leaving the group. It’s still unconfirmed if she is leaving YG or not. But one thing for sure, 2NE1 will continue as three.

The reason is she asked more from YG than he could ever give. It is basically because she is jobless. YG barely gives her job and in a way, it makes her frustrated. In a sense, YG is just being unfair to her.

Do you notice the irony? When other members of popular group left because their company overworked them, Minzy is leaving because her company doesn’t give her any job.

Anyway, so Minzy breaks the internet. Many ideas are popping out. People started the blame game. Some said it’s YG fault, some said it’s just Minzy being greedy, some said it’s CL’s fault, Dara’s fault, Bom’s fault, etc.

I don’t think OT3 is involved though. I think this is only between YG and Minzy.

But I try to make sense here. If you look at both’s perpective, this is actually a win-win solution.

For Minzy, she is free now. She can do whatever she wants. She can join a company which will give her better treatment, better management, better salary. She can finally spread her wings.

For YG, they are free from the responsibility to give Minzy a career. They are free from whiny Blackjack who always asks for Minzy’s solo.

But why didn’t YG give her job at the first place?

As much as I hate to say this, maybe Minzy herself isn’t that marketable. The effort of YG investing something on her, is not that profitable either. 

Yes, I know she is crazy talented and very all-rounded. But I always think that Minzy lacks in personality. Among 2NE1, Minzy is the least popular member. Her image is very weak. She doesn’t have that superstar aura. Other than being a 2NE1 member, general public barely know her.

Visual wise, yes Minzy is pretty, but her face isn’t commercial material like Dara’s. She can’t nail every makeup. She is not a fashion icon. Products need attached-personality to be marketed by an ambassador and Minzy doesn’t have that potential.

This is also why YG can’t send her to TV shows. Most variety PDs usually choose member who is popular or has interesting personality/character, so that they can boost the rating.

In short, she doesn’t have that X-factor to stand alone, especially in the shady industry like Kpop who cares a lot about image and visual.

So why didn’t YG give her a song?

You know what, they tried.

We all knew they tried. Last year they sent Minzy to America to train for weeks. She learned dancing and singing, also tried to make songs. We were all hoping that it would be for her solo album, or solo single at least.

But it resulted in nothing. Minzy went home and went back to school like she used to. No so-called promised music is made. So maybe they have given up on her.

Why? Maybe she simply can’t improve. She’s already at her limit she failed to comply what YG expected of her. Solo debut needs big effort because it is a huge responsibility, especially Minzy is a member of 2NE1, the most prolific girlgroup in Asia, or arguably the world. Expectation are high.

Those are the reasons I could think of. What I want to discuss in this post is actually different thing. I want to talk about how we, as Blackjack, failed to see this coming. We failed to foresee this.

Minzy has given us many clues. Her Instagram name, her rare present when 2NE1 reunited, her almost none support to CL, Bom or Dara’s solo project, the birthday messages, etc.

But we never wonder why because we trust Minzy. Like CL said, Minzy is always our reliable maknae. We believe Minzy will always be there, will always patiently wait. 

It's very saddening now that we think about that. When we were busy worrying about Bom's condition, whether she is okay or not. When we were busy worrying about CL's US debut, whether she ever made it or not. When we were busy worrying about Dara's acting career...

Minzy is there alone neglected like no one care. 

So another idea popped. Is Minzy jealous or feeling overshadowed? Is she actually on bad term with the girls too? No one knows unless you know them personally. But if this is a supporting factor for Minzy to leave, it makes sense.

Look, imma be honest with you all. I’m worried. Not about 2NE1, but Minzy. Like I said before, Minzy is so lacking in public image. Even with 2NE1 and YG help, she can’t be that popular. Let alone made a solo debut.

As for 2NE1, the brand is already established. The name remains strong worldwide regardless their two years hiatus. So as long as they still can produce good music and maintain the image and the brand, Minzy’s withdrawal wouldn’t affect them so much.

Especially now that they –with CL as the starter– try to embark to US music scene. Yes they’re gonna lose Minzy’s fans, but the opportunity to gain even more fans is bigger. Way bigger.

I come to the conclusion 2NE1 maybe survive without Minzy. But Minzy will not survive without 2NE1.

So yeah, Blackjack, it’s up to us now. Do you still want to support Minzy? Or 2NE1? Or both? I myself stand for 2NE1. Even though I have no idea how they are gonna divide Minzy’s singing and dancing part. CL’s will have to do more jobs since she’s the second best dancer. But what kind of adjustment Dara and Bom will undergo?

Let’s just have our finger crossed for this summer comeback to be okay.

Meanwhile, we still have remaining one month with Minzy. We’ll see if she changes her mind.

Lastly, I wanna address a few things to certain people.

To Minzy, good luck to whatever you are doing in the future. We understand how much stress you had to deal with to make this decision and the after effects. Thank you so much for your hardwork, patience and all sacrifices you did for 2NE1. We -2NE1 and Blackjack- will always be your home. Do come home whenever you feel like it. We wish you the best, love. Always.

To YG, I hope you learn something from this tragedy, especially in artist management department. I hope in the future you will learn not to waste your artist’s talents and actually give them proper treatment. Take care the remaining three for us. 2NE1 is just too big to be dismissed, so get your shit together, take a risk, and fix whatever that should be fixed.

To CL, Dara and Bom, good luck processing post-Minzy adjustment. It will be one hell of a process. Minzy is the backbone of most songs who got at least 40% of the part. So good luck with that.

To S*ne, congratulation. You got your payback. Our fave is still better than yours though.

And to all of you who mention me on Twitter, send your condolence and support, or simply cry along and sympathize, thank you so much, I appreciate your concern.

I’m so sorry if I can’t respond to you one by one. I’m still grieving and I don’t think I’ll recover over the week. So I’d be thankful if you don’t ask me about 2NE1 or Minzy at least until this week is over, or probably the whole of April. I don’t know guys, just leave me alone.

PS: Prevent yourself from listening to 2NE1 songs this week. It fucking hurts.