Losing It

It’s September 2nd, almost 3rd in couple minutes, and i’m in complete boredom.

Well, i know it’s late but Happy Eid Mubarak everyone, wish you had a good time with your loved ones.

Just so you know i didn’t have a good time this lebaran. At all. This one is worse than last year. I had a really really bad lebaran.

My Mom decided to throw an open house because my grandma stayed at our house during lebaran. I really hate this idea! Firstly because there’s NO MAID! This is so ridiculuos, how could you came up with the idea of Open House when there’s no maid?! It’s like the most stupid thing ever!

I said this because i care about my mom a lot, i know she will give her best to make it happen but that’s the thing i scared the most. She’s giving her best means she will spend all of her times to take care everything! Theme, meals, decorations, etc... She’s doing it all from super early morning until midnite. She even didn’t want to rest a bit, kept staying at the kitchen all the times, cooking everything, managing things.

I tried to help but she didn’t trust me at all, she kept keeping me away from the kitchen. I was always doing the cleaning (which was super easy and didn’t take much time). I never reached my tiredness limit, i could always watch TVs or making out with my laptop, but my mom didn’t. She was like living at the kitchen all the time, alone, taking care things for the open house, but guess what? Lebaran was delayed! Fuckin’ delayed! So most of the meal didn’t manage to stay fresh until Wednesday.

Expired.

Most of them.

It stressed her out immensely.

And then my family had to realize the fact that my house wasn’t build to cover many people. Our living room ain’t big enough give people space to chill. So when people came, it was very crowded and hot. It was so uncomfortable. We have 2 Aircons but they didn’t manage to keep the room cool, so my dad had to install this giant fan to fulfil the oxygen needs.

The basic meals, like ketupat and opor ayam, which had survived to stay fresh, were not eaten by the guests, only a little of them. I knew this one is coming. I’d told my mom that ketupat and opor ayam are boring! People will look for something new, something they never found in other house they visited.

So they ended up wasted.

It stressed her out even more.

Family gathering. Supported by uncomfortable air condition and wasted meals, family gathering just got even worst. I didn’t see any happiness as i saw my family come one by one. It was all an awkward moment. After an unmeaningful greetings (minal aidin wal faidzin), i realized that seeing them will not be fun anymore as the time goes by. I didn’t miss them, i didn’t want to hear any news from them, i couldn’t even put a happy face, it’s just that.

I’m losing it.

What’s it? I don’t know...

I’m just losing it.

I wonder how long it would take to get it back.

or is it ever got back?